Fluff out your hair extensions and swash your buckles as we ride off with Disney’s 1993 schlocktacular The Three Musketeers. Which is more historically inaccurate, this movie or your average Renaissance Faire? Who buttered your biscuit more, Keifer Sutherland or Chris O’Donnell? Is the only good thing to come out of this Tim Curry’s cape twirling and another killer rock ballad by Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting? And can the next remake please just star all the great Hollywood Chrises, aka The Three Chriskateers? We might get some answers if we weren’t equal parts disappointed and offended by the mediocrity of this whole production.