Don’t drink that Pepsi before bed and always make eye contact during head count as we fly off with 1990s Home Alone. Is it already neglect to let a child sleep alone in an uninsulated attic during a Chicago winter? Is Kevin a sociopath, or just standing his ground? And is the water damage the worst part of the Wet Bandits whole schtick? All we know is Catherine O’Hara continues to be a gem.
Always read the small print and face your fears of mortality as we break down 1992’s Death Becomes Her. Can Meryl Streep be given more comedies please? And how is Goldie Hawn completely unrecognizable with red hair? And is this the most schlubby Bruce Willis character ever put on film? Also, could Isbella Rossellini basically sell rat poison and people would drink it down happily? Obviously, especially if she’s wearing jewelry as a top. Just come join the secret immortals club already. Elvis looks like he’s having a good time.
Stir up that cauldron and bury your undead boyfriend as we cast ourselves into 1998’s Practical Magic. Did you know the origins of our double titles come from a distinctly cartoony place? Will an argument over the attractiveness of Aiden Quinn finally tear us apart? Did they really need to cram this movie into a romcom box? And can we all at least agree that the Owens women inherited fantastic hair along with their man-killing curse? (Worth it.) One thing we can tell you is that we’re feeling very into sisters right now.
Avoid those paddles and fry like bacon you little freshman piggies as we trip on a bit of 1990s nostalgia for the 1970s in Rochard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused. Has institutional child endangerment on this level ever actually existed? Why is Milla Jovovich so tragically underused? How does Matthew McConaughey manage to make a total creeper still somehow charming? And is Rory Cochran the ultimate acting chameleon? All we know is that what some of us love about this movie is that we keep getting older, and it stays the same age.
Come to school on a Saturday and take in what might be the nicest library ever disrespected by teenagers as we find the root of our early dating trauma in John Hughes’s The Breakfast Club. Is Judd Nelson the ultimate beautiful bad boy, or an assault charge waiting to happen? Did no one tell these brats not to climb on the rare Henry Moore sculpture? And can we all just generally agree that teenagers suck? What we found out is that some of us have to come to terms with our horrible taste in movie men. Does that answer your question?
You're no fun anymore 