Put on your rattiest bunny suit and good luck avoiding that falling jet engine as we moodily sleepwalk into 2001’s Donnie Darko. Could this movie end friendships on this podcast? Is this a unique lucid dreamscape put on film, or just plain pretentious? Is Jake Gyllenhaal creepy or dreamy? And can we get a whole movie about Jolene Purdy’s Cherita instead? You might find some answers in the Director’s Cut of this super-sized episode. 

Brush up on your horror movie tropes and make sure you stick close to the Final Girl as we sacrifice some stereotyped teenagers in 2011’s The Cabin in the Woods. Do you need an encyclopedic knowledge of horror movies to appreciate this movie? Or does the comedy carry everything along? Does the shadow of Joss Whedon loom too large, especially in the final scene? And why isn’t Fran Kranz in more TV and movies please? One thing we can tell you for sure, this movie definitely was cooler with the merman. 

Knock back a couple shots of Ouzo and spritz some Windex on that skin ailment as we take a deep Mediterranean dip with Nia Vardalos’s My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Which is stronger, the Greek American cultural nostalgia emanating off this film, or the inescapable adoration for ultimate romcom lead John Corbett? Are most cultures actually based on guilt and food? And honestly, what is up with the Windex? 

Order up a business ladies special lunch and practice your interpretive dance routine as we pass ourselves off as stationery heiresses in 1997’s Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. Does our appreciation of cringe grow with age? Who is the Mary among your BFFs? In what world are Lisa Kudrow or Mira Sorvino chubby? Is Janeane Garofalo the true legend of this movie? And why did they make Alan Cumming look like Sylvester Stallone? We’ll let you know after we fold these scarves.

Steal the most unwieldy leather-bound tome you can find from your mysterious neighborhood bookseller and hide in your school’s spooky attic as we fly off into a serious childhood touchstone, 1984’s The NeverEnding Story. Is the raw egg swilling dad in this a secret alcoholic? Do we all (well, except for Bryce) have deep deep horse girl feelings? Why does this movie swing between scaring the crap out of kids, and making them bawl in utter grief? And for all the great puppetry in this—hello Falkor, you amazing fantasy steed—why does the evil Nothing wolf look like a Chuck E. Cheese side character? We’re sure the answers will come from this heartrendingly plaintive child ruler named after our hippie mom.