Sit back and let Al Pacino in full ham force wash over you in 1997’s The Devil’s Advocate. How is Charlize Theron so good so early in her career (and despite that Southern accent)? Are the offensive parts of this movie that way because it’s about the literal devil, or because the 90s just sucked that much? Why is this movie trying to be deeper than it can ever actually achieve? And is Randall recording this episode directly from the circle of hell where this movie is playing on repeat? We’ll let you know as soon as we finish digesting all this fine pork product.

It’s time to turn the Thanksgiving tables on the colonizers, practice your tango, and think about Debbie’s needs as we get all together ooky with Barry Sonnenfeld’s Addams Family Values (1993). Should we give the incomparable Joan Cusack most of the credit for making this sequel better than the original? Or does it go to the incredibly precocious Christina Ricci, who might be the best child star of her generation? Are Angelica Huston and Raul Julia the ultimate relationship goals on-screen couple? And is Uncle Fester’s O face in this movie even creepier than Dan Ackroyd’s in Ghostbusters? All we know it that we want to find the kind of loving acceptance the Addams Family bestows so easily.

Reach for your 80s hair goals and get that voodoo doll ready as we embrace our dream of joining an all-powerful coven in The Witches of Eastwick (1987, yet again). Who had more fun playing the devil, Jack Nicholson or Al Pacino? (And yes, we will cover The Devil’s Advocate soon, don’t you worry.) Is this film feminist or not? Should Helen let go of her grudge against Susan Sarandon, after nearly being run down by her on a scooter? Does Veronica Cartwright deserve an Oscar for her incredibly unhinged performance? We’re too busy enjoying our gorgeous mansion and giant butler to worry about the contractual details.

Fluff up your hair, grease up your closest saxophone player and run away with Jason Patric and Kiefer Sutherland in The Lost Boys (1987). How do you tell someone you’re 40 without saying you’re 40? Is this the horniest vampire movie ever made? And if so, why did they cast such a baby-faced Corey Haim? And why is Corey Feldman doing a Rambo voice? We’d tell you if we weren’t succumbing to peer pressure to become a creature of the night. 

Sharpen your fangs and get horny cuz it’s time to sink our teeth into 1994’s Interview with the Vampire. Is the blood-drinking SFX in this film a little too “juicy”. Would it have been better if it just embraced its gay side? (Obviously yes.) Does its over-the-top cheesy goth angst make it that much more enjoyable? (We’re split on that.) And is Kirsten Dunst carrying this movie on her tiny little shoulders? We’ll get back to you after we seductively pass our hands through this candle flame.