Avoid those paddles and fry like bacon you little freshman piggies as we trip on a bit of 1990s nostalgia for the 1970s in Rochard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused. Has institutional child endangerment on this level ever actually existed? Why is Milla Jovovich so tragically underused? How does Matthew McConaughey manage to make a total creeper still somehow charming? And is Rory Cochran the ultimate acting chameleon? All we know is that what some of us love about this movie is that we keep getting older, and it stays the same age. 

Fluff your feathers and fight those space demons as we fly into 1986’s Howard the Duck. Why were the late 80s so filled with duck content? Does anyone else remember Howard being a detective? Is Cherry Bomb one of the greatest movie bands of all time? And can someone please let Lea Thompson do the remake she has wanted to for so long? Instead of answers, let us share our duck sex trauma with you.

Don’t let the scholastic stress get to you, and prepare yourself for some ethnic slurs as we enroll in 1992’s School Ties. Is young Brendan Fraser an actual Classical sculpture come to life? Was anyone expecting this cultural drama to actually have a complete thrilling sports scene in the middle of it? And does that shower scene mean there is footage out there of Damon and Fraser dong? We sometimes have answers but waspy white dude will always be pricks.