You're no fun anymore

Get ready for some disappointment in our younger selves, as we turn our attention to the bevvy of jerky dudes and unrealistic romance in John Hughes’s Pretty in Pink. Who are your top f**k, marry, kill James Spader characters? Why mar Annie Potts’s otherwise perfect Iona by making her fall for a bland 80s yuppie? What kind of fashion designer destroys two decent prom dresses to make a fancy potato sack? And why did we ever feel bad for Duckie? All we can tell you is that this is the episode where the die-hard romantics make themselves known. 

Tease up your hair and keep an eye on your biological clock, as we fall in love with one of the greatest on-screen couplings (except when anything sexy is going on)—Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. Does this movie make fun of coastal elites or hicks… or neither? Is Ralph Maccio’s most heinous crime in this movie that god-awful mustache? If we watch this movie enough times, can we just skip law school and start taking cases? Don’t ask us unless you’re ready to get yelled at by some loud New Yorkers. 

Throw on your hautest couture and grab your Multi Pass, as we dive into the sci-fi ingenuity and unavoidable ickiness of Luc Besson’s The Fifth Element. Can we get some more backstory on those steampunk armadillo-ducks? Does Ruby Rhod’s hair tube get in the way when he goes down on someone? How was the opera diva planning on getting those stones out of her body? And does Gary Oldman realize he won’t get paid when the whole planet goes big bada boom? We might have some answers for you if we didn’t get so sidetracked in this episode. 

Pick up your proton packs and watch out for that moody slime, it’s time to get the band back together for the campy cash grab that is Ghostbusters II. Who else has a soft spot for sequels? Was there no such thing as workplace harassment training in 1989? (No need to answer that, we know there wasn’t.) Is there any scene that Peter MacNicol does not steal? (No need to answer that one either.) How did everyone forget that the city was attacked by a giant supernatural marshmallow man five years before this? The only thing we make sure you know in this ep is that we’re all New Yorkers.

Cook up some fava beans and uncork your nicest chianti, as we find out where our early fascination with gruesome murders likely comes from, with Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins (or should we say HOTkins?) in Jonathan Demme’s The Silence of the Lambs. How much direct eye contact can an audience withstand? Did anyone else watch the TV spinoff Clarice? And why would fashion conscious Hannibal Lecter be caught dead in that frumpy linen suit and floppy hair? We might have some answers for you if we didn’t spend most of this ep talking about serial killers.