Hide your bunnies and guard your kids from ghosted lovers as we delve deep into the psyche of the 1987 film Fatal Attraction. Who do we blame for Glenn Close’s horrendous hair style in that opening party scene? Did Anne Archer portray the perfect wife or a one-sided non-character? (Either way, she didn’t deserve to be done so dirty.) Would this movie have aged better if it had been released with its original ending? And perhaps most importantly, why were 80s audiences so invested in Michael Douglas’s dong? We struggle for answers, through the pain of animal cruelty trauma.