You're no fun anymore

Brace yourself for a federally funded makeover and describe your idea of a perfect date as we strive for world peace with Sandra Bullock in 2000’s Miss Congeniality. Does this movie comment on the objectification of women and dismissive stereotypes, or just straight up continue them? How can Benjamin Bratt be so good looking and yet such a jerk? (Actually, nevermind, that one answers itself.) And how do those donuts survive being smuggled in such… intimate places? Ask us again after we learn this complicated choreography and stop a live terrorist attack while looking completely flawless. 

Turn your radio dial to needy and rack up those frequent flyer miles as we fend off seasonal affective disorder in Nora Ephron’s Sleepless in Seattle. Why were we taught that Walter was not good enough, when he doesn’t seem to be the problem here? How did we miss that Meg Ryan was a legit stalker in this? What’s better, mom core or mom porn? Should we just watch An Affair To Remember? And how does nobody know what tiramisu is?? Our flight got delayed somewhere over Cleveland so we’ve got no answers for you. 

Warm up that formula and practice your diapering skills as we doo-wop our way into Leonard Nimoy’s (YUP) surprise blockbuster Three Men and a Baby. Did every 80s comedy have to involve drug dealers in some bizarre way? With the release of this movie, My Two Dads, and Full House, was 1987 the year of the Daddy fetish? How little plot do you need to hold together a movie that is otherwise nothing but fun montages? And how many rooms does this Manhattan apartment-share have?? We might be able to give you some answers if we weren’t so distracted by Tom Selleck’s powerful thighs. 

Grab your cutest jean cut-offs and practice your cha-cha as we embrace the world-opening summer fling that is 1987’s Dirty Dancing. If you do not sing along to this movie, are you a psychopath? Is Patrick Swayze too perfect in all his wounded vulnerability? Is Jennifer Grey actually taking advantage of him? At what point in life do you completely sympathize with World’s Best Dad Jerry Orbach? Should this movie be played on repeat until everyone learns the importance of ready access to reproductive health care? Why are those watermelons so huge?? And is “Nobody put Baby in a corner” the best movie line that makes absolutely no sense? All we know is that we had the time of our lives recording this ep. 

Pull on your sweatiest tank top and let the wind lift your long prison locks as we take off on Con Air. Is the length of Nicolas Cage’s sideburns an accurate barometer for his character’s craziness in a given film? Did John Cusack borrow his suit from David Byrne for this? Is Helen alone in finding Steve Buscemi supremely attractive? Why didn’t Trisha Yearwood’s How Do I Live come on every time John Malkovich and Nic Cage were on screen together? And who leaves their kid in an abandoned plane graveyard?? We don’t have any answers for you, but plenty of explosions.